Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
