Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
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