What did we do last night that was yellow?
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
