i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
