I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize