lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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