Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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