sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Randomize