I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
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You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
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Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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