Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
