and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
