she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
