new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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