His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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