I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
