this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize
