My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize
