Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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