let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
