mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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