...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
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One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
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Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
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