if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I FOUND THE LEGS
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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