ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
