you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Randomize
