8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
