remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
