Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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