you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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