It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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