I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
