i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
he fucked my hip out of place.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
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