I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
my mouth tastes like poor choices
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
i need some magic done to my vagina
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
