weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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