Is it because I queefed?
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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