I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
