I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
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