Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
