Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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