that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
