did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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