Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
