About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
