Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize