girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
pop tarts are not kleenex
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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