my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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