i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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