yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Randomize
