I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
