I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
OPIZZABONMYDICK
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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