Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
