I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
