There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
she told me i tasted like america
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
