I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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