he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Randomize
