Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Randomize
