I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
