If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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