the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
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