The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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