Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
