He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
She said her name was "party"
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Randomize
